what does it mean to be in alignment?
To be in alignment is to lead from your essence. When we are in alignment, our sustainable body of energy works synergistically with the choices that we make - meaning that our intuition, our gifts, our knowing, our relationships, are all in support of our unique purpose. In my experience, and from everything I’ve seen from this work, our lives open up to a whole new level. We begin to attract really juicy, uniquely wonderful things. Our careers go to a whole new level, we start daring in a way where perhaps before we wouldn’t. All because we are using our intuition, which is really the most practical way. Whereas before, sometimes we’re too frightened to deviate from something that is the more conventional, known path. So what ends up happening to us is that our path is as unique as our life force - it’s what we’re here to do. Everyone is here with their own unique unfolding of spirit.
When someone is out of alignment typically the most predominant symptom is anxiety. It can be low-grade, like just a feeling of ‘something is wrong/something is off’ to full blown panic attacks. In my background we would call it ”disorganized energy”. I like this term because it’s neutral. We get so afraid of these feelings, but really this is nature’s way of giving us a very practical and important indicator of having gone out of alignment and needing to find our way back to our essence, back to choices that are in support of our spirit.
If we are chronically overriding our true instinctual knowing, and allowing this disorganized energy to run rampant, this can lead to mental illness and disease.
In today’s society intensity wins, distraction wins. We are bombarded with intrusive information we receive on a subconscious level that’s literally built to trigger our amygdala, which is our primal fear response. When we’re out of alignment we’re much more susceptible to programming that’s coming from an outside source. And since we live in a consumer society, they benefit from us feeling like we don’t inherently possess what we need - so the message is “buy this/do this to become okay”. We’re very susceptible to giving our power to an outside guidance source. Because the second we start to actually feel something that’s an uncomfortable indicator, we are wired to think “oh no, something bad is happening”. And feeling bad is usually linked to a subconscious belief that we will not be accepted or loveable if we’re really in pain. But all indicators are benevolent and trying to point us towards wholeness. It’s sort of like a GPS saying you made a wrong turn.
Coming home to yourself
What I'm facilitating is almost like a spiritual reboot, accessed through the body. You can connect deeply to spirit through the physical being - that's where the name "whole being alignment" comes from. The sound of your voice, for example: "Here's what I sound like when I'm masking. Here's what I sound like when I'm coming from gut, my essence." Those are indicators of your subtle energies. As the channel opens more and more, it becomes your default. I show people how they can do that for themselves. And once you can point to it and name it, and have an experience of it - it can shift your whole approach to life.
So with healing work, I meet people and work with their energy and say: "I hear you. I see you." I'm listening to the body, and I'm creating a way of working that will be inviting to that particular energy. I'm conversing on the level that they're not even speaking. And people really do feel that.
By the time that I die, I want to have done the work of coming home to myself. I want to feel like I really met myself, that I asked the questions and got in there. And got dirty. And laughed harder because of it. And connected more. And that's my hope for everyone, and what this work is designed to do.
How did you come to this work?
In 2011 I was very sick. I was in and out of a wheelchair and had a very bag prognosis. And of course when things are extremely dire, and you’re frightened, you just do what the doctor’s say. I think I had about 16 doctors in the course of three years and I wasn’t getting better. There was a certain point where I felt like if I had one more intrusive treatment I was going to have a nervous breakdown. For the first time my body said “No” and I heard it and listened.
A lot of Western medicine is geared towards surgically removing the symptom rather than looking at the whole being, which of course is looking at a sustainable, holistic version of you. My doctors were talking about killing these pathogens, yet I became curious about what they were actually doing there. I wanted to understand them as opposed to kill them. This is how my body began to change. I decided that I was going to just listen to my body for a while. And I found that it was actually speaking if I got quiet enough to hear it - it was just very subtle. It was saying “yes” or “no” all the time, I was simply so used to overriding this language. It was contradictory and went against what most people thought I should do, and yet I began to heal. I got more energy and life force by watching what expanded presence, even though it didn’t make sense. This was the beginning, and from there things started to line up. Everything I needed to heal began to show up.
At the time I was traveling the world and working with many different healers. Still in a wheelchair, one of my teacher’s said to me “what if this is as good as it gets?”. I hated this question and was so angry - yet I couldn’t dismiss it was a doorway. My “aha” moment came while I was in Brazil, meditating for hours each day. I really wanted to turn over every rock to find anything I couldn’t see. This question kept plaguing me - what if this is as good as it gets? One day I was lying on my stomach outside in the sun, and I let that question become true for me. There I was, lying on the earth, unable to walk, and I began to get curious and allow in that question. And the moment that I did, I saw this tiny praying mantis. He was there in front of my face, making decisions, fully alive, and praying mantis’s are pretty amazing anyway. I just let him into my complete being. This little sentient being absolutely moved me. What I felt was a kind of awe. And I noticed that I had a lot more energy with being in a place of pure presence. I thought, “gosh, what else am I missing in my striving to “get better” all day every day?”. I noticed that these tiny interactions with life were feeding my soul, and each time I opened to them I would feel more vital life force. The more I did this, the less defensiveness I had, and a softening into where I was began to allow, over time, deep healing.
While this was happening, everywhere I travelled my gifts were being recognized by these teachers and healers. I was being acknowledged and confirmed in this strange way. Yet I never wanted this to be my work, until a few years ago when my prayer was “God, teach me how to thrive”. When I walked into this one particular room in the new house that I live in today, I had a vision that I was going to be guiding in some form - this is the healing room that I work in today. Within two days of deciding, I happened to get a massage from a woman who put her hands on me and asked if I was taking clients. She sent me my first four. My entire practice grew out of these four people telling more people who told more people and so on. It happened really fast. That is something I really trust, is that I opened to it and it arrived. This work is so supported. When we’re in alignment, life supports us.
What happens in a session or retreat?
The thing that I’m most passionate about is that people walk away with practical tools so that they’re supported in their everyday lives and they feel confident as challenges arise with how to navigate back to their God-given guidance. This was something I felt was missing in all the typical retreats I went to. For instance, you would feel really good while in a retreat but three days later be stuck on the highway having road rage again and all that bliss you felt was nowhere to be found. Everything I teach is something you can replicate in your life. I don’t want people to feel like I’m a great teacher, I want people to feel like “I can do this”. I genuinely believe that everyone has unique gifts and talents and I’m so fascinated by the person sitting in front of me. The most simple things change people’s lives. For example, I work with powerful business men, and these seemingly simple things have lead them to huge shifts, creating new businesses that they’re much more passionate about and in alignment with, so they’re making more money because more energy is flowing. It really is all about feeling our innate capacity and how powerful we actually are. Oftentimes we simply just don’t trust ourselves, so these are really just basic tools to get us back to our creative, intuitive guidance.
These retreats are unique in that it’s less about group participation and more about direct experience. I’m creating an immersive environment through guided meditation, movement, breathwork and ritual. We have an infallible North Star of knowing that the sacred wisdom of the body is providing. This knowing, because it’s from our heart or essence, does not have an egoic agenda for us, which makes it more reliable.
In these retreats, people are awakening into their own guidance. I want someone to feel like they’re having this very personal “aha” somewhere in the room. We use our bodies and sensing as the guide and indication system as opposed to language, talking and connecting socially. It’s a much faster way for people to have a clarified connection to their channel. I’m wanting people to have an experience of returning back to pure presence. Which isn’t something our conscious mind can even make sense of, and why language isn’t my first choice in having the most potent healing occur. So it’s all through direct experience, as opposed to you learning a set of fixed spiritual guidelines, which has its place but it’s just not what I’m teaching. It’s advantageous to be in a group, because together we create a collective energy that is a strong container that amplifies the energetics of healing.
In a 1-1 session, I ask people to come in with a gentle intention. We usually speak for about 20 minutes and during that time I’m listening to what their body is telling me. Oftentimes it may not be what they’re consciously coming in for. I usually will ask them through inquiry if what I am experiencing makes sense to them. Usually that will be an “in” - an “aha”. Every session is different and I never know what will happen. Some people’s energy is really asking to move something out, something needs to be cleared. Some people need their energy to return home to them - they almost need to be swaddled in their own field. While I’m talking to them I’m also listening to the way their particular frequency is presenting itself. What may be nourishment for some people may be kind of caustic to another. So the invitation always changes to match the individual in front of me. Sessions are built to return people back into their own fortified channel. That looks different for every single person, but it always includes a form of inquiry, hands-on healing, and releasing what no longer serves us while redirecting awareness to embrace what is here supporting us now.